What spoon? But I side-sit!

I wonder if any of you other Moms have experienced this?  Olivia had gotten to be quite good with her spoon and self-feeding, and then suddenly lost interest.  She sees the spoon in front of her with food on it and her hand becomes limp and she just has no interest in holding it and taking it to her mouth. She also has lost interest in throwing her spoon.  That is progress!  She will hold her spoon and take it to her mouth and put it down nicely on the tray or in an empty bowl when we are just practicing. But for the real thing, she is not interested.  She is doing beautifully controlling her own straw cup. She picks it up off the tray and drinks and sets it down nicely on the tray.  She is typically not throwing cups, spoons and bowls off the edge and at the wall any more!  Praise God!  She is self-feeding with her hands beautifully.  And will throw a piece off the edge of the tray when she no longer wants that particular food choice.  She does know the correct sign for "all done". She just picks and chooses when she uses it!

Olivia is accepting being put in "side-sitting" more and more these days and this is leading to getting in and out of sitting the right way more often. Before she always used the unapproved "Chinese Splits Method" which does make me cringe given I have worked so hard on the "pre" in and out of sitting exercises.  But I do now see that my work was not in vain, as she is beginning to accept doing it the right way.  I have a hard time feeling the urge to curtail all of her "illegal" moves, because I don't want her to stop doing everything altogether. But I spend lots of time trying to "catch" her before she does in the wrong way and get her doing it the right way with perhaps Olivia feeling as if she had done it all by herself the correct way.  Olivia's podiatrist talked about how important HIP issues are for people with Ds. We have worked from Day 1 on protecting he hips. I hope it pays off.  I heard recently of a child having surgery for hip dysplasia.  God willing we won't go there.

We work and we work with our kids, but they are independent human beings. I try to remember that and respect her first and foremost. Well! On second thought!  I LOVE her first!  That is what they told us in the NICU! Love her!  All the rest will follow suit!  And I think they are correct!

Why we adopted a child with Down syndrome

On this first day of the 31 in 21 day challenge, I decided to post about the beginning of our journey with Olivia. Above is our first photo with Olivia. She was born at 36 weeks gestation, weighing 4 lbs 3 oz, by emergency C-Section at 4:51 am. When we received the phone call at 8 am that Olivia's birthmom had delivered Olivia that morning, our first thought and first question was, "Is the birthmom alright?" We had gotten to know and love her quite well in the two months preceding Olivia's birth, and the thought of anything happening to her was devastating. Birthmom and baby were fine, and we were able to go to the hospital that afternoon to see them both. It was a relief to see the birthmom, tired and worn out, but smiling and sweet as always. She took us to the NICU to meet Olivia for the first time. I will never forget the awe I felt as she said to Olivia, "this is the other mommy I was telling you about." Words cannot describe the sorrow and joy intermingling in my heart at that moment. I knew that forever Olivia and her birthmom would be in my heart unceasingly.

We were in the NICU with Olivia for 13 days. It was a tough time, but a good time for us to learn from the nurses the best ways to take care of Olivia. Thanks to their expert instructions, when we went home we knew what we were doing to take optimal care of this wonderful gift with special needs.

The second day in the NICU, the NICU social worker asked us a bunch of questions. One question sticks in my head especially. It was " why do you want to adopt a baby with Down syndrome?" Although we had been working on adopting a child with Ds for nearly 4 years, at that moment we could not remember why we had wanted to adopt a child with Ds. It was the most surreal moment! My husband said, "Because God called us to adopt a child with Ds". That is the first time that we had said this, and the first time that we had realized it, but all the many people with Ds in our lives over the years, and all the infertility, and all the joys and all the sorrows and everything in our lives simply made adopting a child with Down syndrome seem to be the most natural step in the world. Before Olivia entered our life, there was always this weird empty hopeless feeling that weighed me down. Hard to explain, but no matter how wonderful things were, something was missing. Now that feeling is gone! No matter how hard the day is as a parent, things finally make sense! For anyone considering adopting a child with Ds, pray! If you still feel that "tug" then pursue it!

The steps to adopt are rugged! We went through it for 4 years, and talk about ups and downs! We experienced adoption nightmares that are unbelievable. And that is the story for many adoptive families on the journey to adopt. But it all is worth it! Olivia is wonderful!!!!!! We love her more and more everyday!

Happy 6th Month Birthday

Today is 6 months since we received the phone call that Olivia had been born! Wow! It is hard to believe that it is already 6 months. We think that since her development is slower than for a typical baby, that time goes much slower also. There is lots of time to savor every step along the way. Sometimes with a typical baby, the rate at which they develop can make ones head spin! We are lingering in the luxury of enjoying every step along the way. (and making lots of lemonade out of any available lemons to sip as we wait!)

Olivia has changed so much from that 4 lb baby whose skin hung on her bones. If you remember, she was initially on oxygen, IV's, feeding tube, in an incubator, and on a billiblanket for jaundice. In addition, she was hooked up to all sorts of monitors. We would sit with her and watch her monitors and pray that everything was going to be alright. Praise God, 13 days after she was born she came home from the NICU! Today, Olivia is a healthy "strong" baby with Down syndrome who is developing very well considering the circumstances. Today we began putting small blocks into an old oatmeal canister. Plunk Plunk! Very exciting! The blocks are small enough for her to hold, and Mommy helps her get them to drop into the canister. (all the while providing necessary head and torso support... but the support needed for her head lessens everyday). Olivia enjoys knocking blocks over! And she enjoys pushing the top to make it go around!

Praise God for the gift of Olivia in our lives!

and

God bless her most wonderful birthmom for entrusting to us this precious baby, Olivia!

We think of the birthmom everyday, and thank God for such a wonderful woman!

These are some photos to compare!

Just thought I would offer some points of comparison. Photos taken while in the NICU to photos taken the other day! My how far we have come!

Olivia was born weighing 4 lbs 3 oz

Today she weighed in at 14 lbs 13.5 oz

She was 17 1/4 inches at birth

Now she is about 24 inches

A Baby!

I have been thinking of all the things I want to tell you as I sit feeding O. Then she is down to sleep and I sleep at night and do housework during the day! Busy Busy! Happy Happy! The house is clean! We are well fed! O is happy! The cats are brushed! The litterboxes are clean! I am up to date on Thank you notes! Life is good!

O has passed out of the "feels like a preemie" stage!!! Now she feels so much like a newborn baby!!! She still is probably more low tone and floppy than a typical newborn, but she is so much stronger! And a determined little lady! She now weighs about 7 lbs 5 oz. (weighed her on the scale from Grandma and Grandpa B the other day. She mostly sleeps at night and eats. She will sometimes go to bed early and sometimes late. We find that sometimes she is ready for a bath at 5 pm, but other days doing it at 7 seems to settle her down for sleep much better. We are following Montessori's advice (and Grandma Kate's wisdom!) and following the child! At this early point in her life every day is different. We just try to keep her rested, active during alert time, well fed and dry diapered! We are using Tushies diapers which are gel free. They are the closest to cloth. They are recommended by our doctor. We hope that the fact that she feels wetness and doesn't like it will help her potty train at an earlier age. We have dear friends raising a sweet little almost 2 year old with Ds who is in cloth. God Bless this amazing mother!!!!!

I am reading Road Map to Holland when ever I can squeeze in a few moments. I am addicted to reading, and so am always trying to sneak in a page or two out of the various books laying around the house! O will grow up in a house with much reading and many books littered around the house! Anyway, this book was written by a woman who had twins. One with Down syndrome. She writes about her experience in the NICU which is so healing to me! I had felt that what I was experiencing was just because I was an adoptive parent. But as I read her wonderful words, I realize that every parent feels this way! I also learned that we were brave to have spent the endless hours there. It was all worth it! By the time we came home with O we really knew her and she knew us!

Life with O is wonderful! Yes! I do understand the full impact of sleep deprivation! God bless all of you who raised multiple babies! Especially my brother and sister in law with 5 in 9 years! Amazing people! God bless you!!!!! O brings joy at every hour of the day! She is such a huge blessing and so amazing! We are so lucky to have been chosen to raise her! I pray that we will be worthy of this great privilege! God bless the birth mom! She called Daddy O to wish him a Happy Father's Day! O has so much of her birth mom in her! Sweetness and strength!

Bitter-sweet Milestone Day

Today we reached a bitter-sweet milestone.  The birthmom signed her papers indicating that she will not be parenting O.  We ask for your prayers for her. This is never an easy thing to do, even when the birthmom knows that it is in her best interest and in the best interest of the baby.  We so very much admire her strength and her sweetness. She has done so much this week to help us to feel comfortable with being given the great privilege of raising her beloved daughter.  She wants us to be the parents and feel comfortable that this is what she wants for her baby. She is grateful to us for parenting O.  We just feel so privileged!!!!  We cannot imagine a more perfect daughter!  We love her more and more everyday!

Mama O gave O a bath today.  In the photo above and below, she is all clean, bright-eyed and happy!
Just some time looking at Daddy O and Mama O before going back to sleep. She did much better eating today. The occupational therapist (OT) gave us great tips to keep her more alert during feedings.  Her sucking is strong and in good form.  All the reading about Down Syndrome is paying off as we understand very clearly what the OT person is saying having done our reading ahead of time.
Here is our little apple blossom stretching out.  She now weighs 4 lbs 8.3 oz. !
We are taking one day at a time and just enjoying every moment that we are with her!  Today we were in the NICU for 9 hours. Usually our days will be shorter so that we don't wear ourselves out before she comes home. The bath delayed our departure.

Thanks to every one for your support and prayers and emails. I try to keep in touch as much as possible, but I know that I don't always do as well as I would like. But know that we so very much appreciate all the support and emails and facebook comments!