Adoption Finalization One year ago today

 Today is one year since Olivia's adoption was finalized by the court.  It is/was o

ne of those mixed feeling days for certain! Relieved to have all the legal stuff behind us, but knowing that the finalization would be a weird feeling for Olivia's very much beloved birth-mom and birth-family. As this year has gone by, we have realized that we have not only gained a daughter, but we have also gained the most wonderful extended family ever as we have been accepted into the lives of Olivia's birth-family. We never would have imagined the fullness of blessings that have been bestowed on us in having the love of Olivia's birth-families in our life! We love you all!

Visit with Olivia's Birthfamily

This afternoon, we had the wonderful opportunity to enjoy some time at the Lake with two of Olivia's sisters, Olivia's birthmom and her birthdad. We are so blessed to have an open adoption for Olivia. At first we certainly had to learn how to do an open adoption. There are no clear directions on how to do this. I think that the best way to describe how I feel about Olivia's birth-family is LOVE of course, but to be more specific, I feel that they are extended family. And they are the sort of extended family whom one feels very comfortable around, has fun with, enjoys, and looks forward to seeing. Visits always seem too short. When we first thought about adoption, we did not know how it would be to have an open adoption, but we like it. I don't know if all open adoptions are as comfortable as ours is for us, but all I know is that I thank God for the gift of such a wonderful addition to my life. An addition of many people who I now call my family! I also feel such gratitude that they chose us to be Olivia's mommy and daddy. What an honor! We are so grateful and honored! Everyday I think of her birthfamily, and everyday I ask God to bless them abundantly!

Why we adopted a child with Down syndrome

On this first day of the 31 in 21 day challenge, I decided to post about the beginning of our journey with Olivia. Above is our first photo with Olivia. She was born at 36 weeks gestation, weighing 4 lbs 3 oz, by emergency C-Section at 4:51 am. When we received the phone call at 8 am that Olivia's birthmom had delivered Olivia that morning, our first thought and first question was, "Is the birthmom alright?" We had gotten to know and love her quite well in the two months preceding Olivia's birth, and the thought of anything happening to her was devastating. Birthmom and baby were fine, and we were able to go to the hospital that afternoon to see them both. It was a relief to see the birthmom, tired and worn out, but smiling and sweet as always. She took us to the NICU to meet Olivia for the first time. I will never forget the awe I felt as she said to Olivia, "this is the other mommy I was telling you about." Words cannot describe the sorrow and joy intermingling in my heart at that moment. I knew that forever Olivia and her birthmom would be in my heart unceasingly.

We were in the NICU with Olivia for 13 days. It was a tough time, but a good time for us to learn from the nurses the best ways to take care of Olivia. Thanks to their expert instructions, when we went home we knew what we were doing to take optimal care of this wonderful gift with special needs.

The second day in the NICU, the NICU social worker asked us a bunch of questions. One question sticks in my head especially. It was " why do you want to adopt a baby with Down syndrome?" Although we had been working on adopting a child with Ds for nearly 4 years, at that moment we could not remember why we had wanted to adopt a child with Ds. It was the most surreal moment! My husband said, "Because God called us to adopt a child with Ds". That is the first time that we had said this, and the first time that we had realized it, but all the many people with Ds in our lives over the years, and all the infertility, and all the joys and all the sorrows and everything in our lives simply made adopting a child with Down syndrome seem to be the most natural step in the world. Before Olivia entered our life, there was always this weird empty hopeless feeling that weighed me down. Hard to explain, but no matter how wonderful things were, something was missing. Now that feeling is gone! No matter how hard the day is as a parent, things finally make sense! For anyone considering adopting a child with Ds, pray! If you still feel that "tug" then pursue it!

The steps to adopt are rugged! We went through it for 4 years, and talk about ups and downs! We experienced adoption nightmares that are unbelievable. And that is the story for many adoptive families on the journey to adopt. But it all is worth it! Olivia is wonderful!!!!!! We love her more and more everyday!

Proud to Announce...

... that Olivia is up on all fours in PERFECT form! This week, Olivia figured out how to take her "froggy rocky rocky" position and turn it into "rocky rocky way up high"! I had feared that it was going to take her a long time to get the strength and motivation to get her knees under her and her hips in, but she made the next step quickly. She LOVES rocking way up high! Big Smiles! And we LOVE seeing her do this! It is hard to believe that this little girl who we used to get excited so excited for when she, as a baby, moved her head from side to side, is now up on all fours rocking beautifully! It is moments like this that make us stand in AWE of the honor it is to be the parents of a child with that little extra chromosome. The work to attain each milestone is HARD work indeed, and takes a lot of patience, but when we get to these extra special milestones the rejoicing is fantastic! It is harder to raise a child with special needs, but I think it is better! Anyway... we love Olivia so dearly! And we are so very proud of her! Always! (Anyway... she has good genes! We can say that since we were fortunate to adopt her!)

Mothers Day

My sweet sweet sister in law from CA sent these gorgeous roses to me to celebrate my first Mothers Day. Olivia LOVES her Aunt Suki!!!! Aunt Suki will be a very special guest at Olivia's first birthday party as Aunt Suki is flying in from CA to help Olivia celebrate her first year of life! It would not be the same with out Aunt Suki there, so we are so excited that she will be there!
I wanted to post about my First REAL Mothers Day. Last year, I was merely a visitor of Olivia while she was in the NICU. Olivia would not be our foster daughter until she was released from the hospital and she would not be our prospective adoptive daughter until July and she would not be our daughter who we adopted until November. Therefore, I was not allowed to choose her clothes or make one single decision for her, except should I use two diaper wipes or one and the like. Yes! Bummer! This year I got to choose Olivia's clothes that she wore! And in honor of her friend Piper's birthday tomorrow, we chose her new ladybug Osh Kosh pants and a Baby Gap onesie. Later when we went to Olivia's first symphony, I added a Gymboree sweater to the outfit. Olivia loved the symphony! Well, it was not really a symphony, but a Suzuki Recital where her five year old cousin was playing the violin. Olivia really enjoyed all the live music! We need to find some symphony matinees to take her to!

Photos of Our Forever-Daughter!

Our family! Cats and people! Everyone loved!!!!

Olivia counted 2 million kisses today!!!!

That is what being adopted means!

It means you get kissed 2 million times!!!!

(as opposed to the normal 1 million times a day!)

And every newly adopted daughter needs

to take some time to do her studying at her desk!

We are so happy as we bask in the reality that Olivia is our Forever-Daughter!

It has been so very many years in trying to get to this point, that it is all the more amazing of a feeling. Tonight I held her just a bit longer before putting her in her crib for the night as I simply savored the reality that we officially and legally have a daughter. Olivia has been our daughter in our hearts since late February, and we certainly have been BEING her parents. Now it is just official and legal, and it feels awesome! And some would say miracles don't happen! Miracles DO indeed happen! Praise God!

Adoption Finalized

We learned this morning that the judge signed the order finalizing Olivia's adoption last Friday the 13th. Praise God for bringing Olivia into our lives and for bringing us to the end of this long journey.

Happy 6th Month Birthday

Today is 6 months since we received the phone call that Olivia had been born! Wow! It is hard to believe that it is already 6 months. We think that since her development is slower than for a typical baby, that time goes much slower also. There is lots of time to savor every step along the way. Sometimes with a typical baby, the rate at which they develop can make ones head spin! We are lingering in the luxury of enjoying every step along the way. (and making lots of lemonade out of any available lemons to sip as we wait!)

Olivia has changed so much from that 4 lb baby whose skin hung on her bones. If you remember, she was initially on oxygen, IV's, feeding tube, in an incubator, and on a billiblanket for jaundice. In addition, she was hooked up to all sorts of monitors. We would sit with her and watch her monitors and pray that everything was going to be alright. Praise God, 13 days after she was born she came home from the NICU! Today, Olivia is a healthy "strong" baby with Down syndrome who is developing very well considering the circumstances. Today we began putting small blocks into an old oatmeal canister. Plunk Plunk! Very exciting! The blocks are small enough for her to hold, and Mommy helps her get them to drop into the canister. (all the while providing necessary head and torso support... but the support needed for her head lessens everyday). Olivia enjoys knocking blocks over! And she enjoys pushing the top to make it go around!

Praise God for the gift of Olivia in our lives!

and

God bless her most wonderful birthmom for entrusting to us this precious baby, Olivia!

We think of the birthmom everyday, and thank God for such a wonderful woman!

Adoption Updated

We have been asked how the adoption process is coming along. Wonderfully is the answer! We are in the home stretch! We have one more supervisory home visit by the social worker, and we have been told by her that everything is just a formality now. Depending on the judge, we could have everything legally finalized as soon as November 17 or the December 26 date may hold true. The social worker is pushing for November 17 or shortly afterwards. This date would be 6 months from when we brought Olivia home from the hospital. The December 26 date is 6 months from when Olivia was officially placed with us for adoption and no longer considered our foster child, but is now considered a child placed for adoption. This is all per state requirements for adoption. Every domestic adoptive family in our state has to jump through the same hoops. Needless to say, there will be much to celebrate in our family when the adoption is finalized and our sweet Olivia can share our last name!

Postponing Consideration of Boy J

We decided to postpone our visit with J. Those of you who know us well know that we take very seriously the care of children and realize that children with special needs can require a lot of extra care. Right now we are still learning what extra care O will need. While our hearts desperately want J in our lives, we realize that we aren't doing either O or J any good if we have to cut too many corners to parent them both. As such, we decided to postpone our consideration of J for a while.

- Daddy O

PT Girl

We think that O is PT girl! Physical Therapy, or Party or Pretty Tired! Which ever PT fits the day! O had a GREAT time at the Family Reunion on Sunday! We so appreciated the warm Baumgartner Family Welcome that O received! We are so blessed to be a part of the family and we are so blessed that you welcome O to be one of us! I think about how PROUD Grandma and Grandpa B and Uncle Bill and Aunt Marge would be of all of their descendants and everyone who has joined the family through marriage, friendship, adoption and foster care. Everyone is family in my estimation and everyone is valued and loved! I think that my years away from the reunions has only solidified my appreciation for each and everyone of you! Thanks for being my family and for filling my life with love, laughter and life!

O survived Sunday just fine! She seemed to really be happy and enjoying herself. O was so interested in seeing everyone! It was so neat to see this! Next year she will be even more in the swing of things. Because of the DS we don't know if she will be crawling or walking yet, but we will keep on working on getting her ready to be as active and involved in next year's reunion as possible! I DO think that someone should design a Family Reunion 2010 shirt! O would love to have a special shirt to wear! So would we! Connie and Dennis do such beautiful work! The printing holds up to washings so very well! It is amazing! And the quality of the t shirts is great! Connie is not charging near what her effort would be worth. Such a kind offer on Connie and Dennis' part! OK I hope I have everyone pumped up to get their creative juices flowing to design a shirt!

Yesterday we went to Daddy O's family's house at the same Lake to see his family! O loves to be outdoors and be around people. Only problem is that she is now overtired! Our little baby who doesn't cry and will always sleep and nap in her crib has other ideas today! At the moment she is peacefully sleeping in her chair next to me and getting rested for her bath. She has slept most of the afternoon and hopefully we will have restored her normal rested state. I guess we play we pay! But it was so wonderful to spend two days with family.

New video

O can now hold her head in midline, when she wants to! This has been a long time coming. Before her head would just flop to the side. This is so wonderful to see! She is also grasping objects. She probably doesn't realize what she is doing, but it is encouraging to see that she has the strength to grasp objects. She is in the very beginnings of social smiling and is making more eye contact. She especially likes to make eye contact when it is night time and she is supposed to be falling asleep. She had been trying to make eye contact with me this evening. Now she is trying it with Dad who is fresh home from Chicago. Time for a welcome shower for Mommy. Enjoy the video!

A Baby!

I have been thinking of all the things I want to tell you as I sit feeding O. Then she is down to sleep and I sleep at night and do housework during the day! Busy Busy! Happy Happy! The house is clean! We are well fed! O is happy! The cats are brushed! The litterboxes are clean! I am up to date on Thank you notes! Life is good!

O has passed out of the "feels like a preemie" stage!!! Now she feels so much like a newborn baby!!! She still is probably more low tone and floppy than a typical newborn, but she is so much stronger! And a determined little lady! She now weighs about 7 lbs 5 oz. (weighed her on the scale from Grandma and Grandpa B the other day. She mostly sleeps at night and eats. She will sometimes go to bed early and sometimes late. We find that sometimes she is ready for a bath at 5 pm, but other days doing it at 7 seems to settle her down for sleep much better. We are following Montessori's advice (and Grandma Kate's wisdom!) and following the child! At this early point in her life every day is different. We just try to keep her rested, active during alert time, well fed and dry diapered! We are using Tushies diapers which are gel free. They are the closest to cloth. They are recommended by our doctor. We hope that the fact that she feels wetness and doesn't like it will help her potty train at an earlier age. We have dear friends raising a sweet little almost 2 year old with Ds who is in cloth. God Bless this amazing mother!!!!!

I am reading Road Map to Holland when ever I can squeeze in a few moments. I am addicted to reading, and so am always trying to sneak in a page or two out of the various books laying around the house! O will grow up in a house with much reading and many books littered around the house! Anyway, this book was written by a woman who had twins. One with Down syndrome. She writes about her experience in the NICU which is so healing to me! I had felt that what I was experiencing was just because I was an adoptive parent. But as I read her wonderful words, I realize that every parent feels this way! I also learned that we were brave to have spent the endless hours there. It was all worth it! By the time we came home with O we really knew her and she knew us!

Life with O is wonderful! Yes! I do understand the full impact of sleep deprivation! God bless all of you who raised multiple babies! Especially my brother and sister in law with 5 in 9 years! Amazing people! God bless you!!!!! O brings joy at every hour of the day! She is such a huge blessing and so amazing! We are so lucky to have been chosen to raise her! I pray that we will be worthy of this great privilege! God bless the birth mom! She called Daddy O to wish him a Happy Father's Day! O has so much of her birth mom in her! Sweetness and strength!

Movie and Soy Formula

O was having some digestive issues so this week she was switched to a soy based formula. This is not too surprising as her birth siblings also had dairy issues.  With the switch she seems to feel much better.

We learned that we may be finalizing the adoption of O by November or December! 

 Happy Thanksgiving! Merry Christmas!

The little boy, J,  we were to adopt last year is once again available for adoption.  They admitted that they should have placed him with us.  We feel so sad for J.  We pray that the perfect forever family is found for him soon. And if we are to be that family, that God would give us wisdom to know that we can be parents to both O and J.

I hope you like the movie of O having side lying therapy play time!  She loves this!

Visit with Aunt Connie

Today Daddy O went to the office. This was the first day he was away from Mama O and Baby O since O was born.  We really miss him.  Aunt Connie came last night and has been with us all day.  O has slept all day except when we gave her a bath this morning.  Aunt Connie, retired hair stylist, studied O's hair growth and now O has a new hair style!  Mama O was combing it the wrong direction for the way that her hair grows.

We have commented about O's strength and determination, her powerful legs, her wiggly squirminess. Well, today during a diaper and t-shirt change she threw her leg over the other leg and rolled completely over with arm moving her over, too.  Yes, probably a fluke. But Wow! We were saying that one has to anticipate O's every move! Here is one example.  The early on therapists are scheduled to evaluate her the beginning of June. It will be good to get regular professional directed advice.  O moves around A LOT!  We have heard the opinions that this is normal baby movement and then the opposite that this is not normal.  The early on therapists will say for sure.  The good thing is that even if this is not normal, that addressing whatever this issue might be early will help us to overcome any obstacle it might place in her way in the long run.

Bitter-sweet Milestone Day

Today we reached a bitter-sweet milestone.  The birthmom signed her papers indicating that she will not be parenting O.  We ask for your prayers for her. This is never an easy thing to do, even when the birthmom knows that it is in her best interest and in the best interest of the baby.  We so very much admire her strength and her sweetness. She has done so much this week to help us to feel comfortable with being given the great privilege of raising her beloved daughter.  She wants us to be the parents and feel comfortable that this is what she wants for her baby. She is grateful to us for parenting O.  We just feel so privileged!!!!  We cannot imagine a more perfect daughter!  We love her more and more everyday!

Mama O gave O a bath today.  In the photo above and below, she is all clean, bright-eyed and happy!
Just some time looking at Daddy O and Mama O before going back to sleep. She did much better eating today. The occupational therapist (OT) gave us great tips to keep her more alert during feedings.  Her sucking is strong and in good form.  All the reading about Down Syndrome is paying off as we understand very clearly what the OT person is saying having done our reading ahead of time.
Here is our little apple blossom stretching out.  She now weighs 4 lbs 8.3 oz. !
We are taking one day at a time and just enjoying every moment that we are with her!  Today we were in the NICU for 9 hours. Usually our days will be shorter so that we don't wear ourselves out before she comes home. The bath delayed our departure.

Thanks to every one for your support and prayers and emails. I try to keep in touch as much as possible, but I know that I don't always do as well as I would like. But know that we so very much appreciate all the support and emails and facebook comments!

Set back day

We were spoiled by so many good days in a row.  Today was a tough one! After days of nurses who were 10's, we had a nurse who was.... not a 10.  Her young intern was a 10 though!

O was not very interested in bottle feeding today. She was more interested in sleeping!  She would eat a very little, then would get tired and not want to work so hard any more.  The doctor said that this is typical pre term baby behavior, but that it may need more help to be overcome because of the Down Syndrome low muscle tone.  Tomorrow an occupational therapist (OT) will work with the three of us.  

She will not be going home until she is feeding by bottle completely.  So, O is already teaching us to slow down in our expectations and just enjoy each day.  And she is SO VERY enjoyable!!!!  We cannot believe what a neat kid she is!  She is worth everything!!!!!
O had her follow up echo cardio gram today.  We should hear the results tomorrow. The first one was good, so we are hopeful.  She did not care for the test, but as usual she was a really brave girl.  I tell you! She is the coolest kid! Yes, we are probably incredibly biased!!! :-)
Here is our little angel sleeping instead of eating.  

Tomorrow  will be a better day!

But everyday it is really wonderful to be with Baby O.

When she opens her eyes and looks at us it is The Best!

Mothers' Day

Free Free Free at last!!!!

Today O got rid of all of her medical equipment except the feeding tube.  She got to put a nightgown on over her t-shirt, and she can be swaddled in one blanket and not need any more blankets.  She is out of the incubator and in the isolette. She is regulating her temperature just beautifully!  It was amazing how all of the sudden her temperature regulation kicked into gear! 

O still will need to spend most of her time swaddled since she was a pre term baby.  They want the babies to have to kick hard against the swaddle as if they were scrunched in the womb. This strengthens their muscles.   O is floppy.  They tell us that most of what we see is probably the Down Syndrome low muscle tone floppiness.  She will need to be swaddled for the first 4 to 6 weeks after she gets home.
Look who woke up today!!! O slept all day yesterday.  It was great to see her eyes for a little while this morning.  She seemed to wake up and look Mama O in the eyes and say, "Happy Mama's Day, Mommy!  I am glad I got here for the big day!"  We were so excited by all the progress that O made today. The biggest milestone was moving to the step down unit of the NICU.  She is classified as feed and grow.  That means that once she is feeding completely on her own by bottle with no feeding tube and still growing that she can go HOME!!!   (the driving back and forth 1 1/4 hours each way is getting to be a bit much!)   O is doing good with the bottles, but she needs to be able to eat all the ounces they want her to before she can go home.  

O now weighs 4 lbs 5 oz  (our weight yesterday was inaccurate)

The doctor said that she may be ready to go home as early as Wednesday!  Please pray that we can go home soon!  We are all ready to be home together!  Doctor also said that O is very healthy for a baby with Down Syndrome.  Music to our ears!  She will have another echo-cardiogram done to make sure that her heart is truly doing well. Doctors tell us they hear no murmur and believe that her heart is good!  Praise God!

We had been praying for the birthmom, as I know many of you have too.  It has been rough emotionally.  In addition to the adoption plan, she had a C-section (emergency) and it was rugged.  She also was worried about O in NICU.  Today, the birthmom called Mama O to wish me a Happy Mothers' Day!! Wow!!! Hearing her say that gave me permission to be truly Happy about my first Mothers' Day.  I told her that entrusting O to us made us happier than we could ever express. She was so happy to hear this.  We have a great birthmom. She has a sweetness about her that is so dear.  We think that O has her eyes.  

O is a great kid!  She is so cool!  We are so blessed!!!  

We began praying with O the first day we met. She really likes the Our Father.  She will flutter her eyes when we pray.  She cannot wait to be Baptized!!!  She thinks that is going to be awesome! We have told her all about St Mary's and she is so excited to join! She cannot wait to hear Father Dave tell all the stories about Jesus!  (and hear Deacon Roger sing!)

Little Glo-worm

Today O's bilirubin level was up (jaundice), so she was put in a bili-blanket.  This is similar to the grow light therapy.  The light makes her swaddle blanket glow a neon blue color.  We could hold her with this on.  If her levels go up, then they will have to use the grow lights. 

Today her skin was less of that new born "I just spent 8 months in a bathtub" shriveled up look.

She is gaining weight.  She now weighs 4 lbs 4.8 oz.  Either we are getting used to what she looks like, or she is filling out some.  

Her platelet count was low today. They are rerunning the test, and if it is still low then they will request a transfusion.  O's veins don't like to give blood or take IV's so it takes a team of nurses and about an hour before they get the job done.  Our brave little sweetheart usually falls asleep during the process. After it is all done, she is exhausted.  

She is taking more formula from the bottle and less IV nutrition.  When she has been exhausted by the medical team, they will give her a feeding by the tube.

Mama O is getting really good and quick at changing a diaper through the little holes in her incubator.  

Thanks to everyone for their care, concern, support and prayers!  It means so much!

(We learned today that for the time being no one but us (and birth-mom) can visit her. It gets lonely for us in NICU, but this is adoption and we just say Yes and Thank you.)

3 days old

The woman with Peter is our adoption social worker. She is a sweetheart!

Some highlights of the day:

O weighs 4 lbs 4 oz. and she can take 5 cc of formula from a bottle. The IV is still in though to give her enough nutrition.  She sucks the 5 cc down in no time flat!  She is sucking well on her pacifier when it is time to do a medical procedure. She is such a brave little girl. The nurses were struggling with doing a new IV "poke" but O just fell asleep. I think that Daddy's warm hand on her belly helped!  She loves her Daddy!

O is sleeping a lot so we spend a lot of time just standing by her incubator watching her sleep.  We have "action" movies of her sleeping!  :-)

Yes, she does look a bit jaundiced today. Her numbers were higher, but no grow light yet.

We are now licensed for Foster Care. This helps an adoption go more smoothly in Berrien County, as it gets the judge involved sooner in the whole process. He is very good at protecting the rights of birthmom.

Thanks to everyone for the prayers and support! We appreciate you all so much!!!  Your support means so much!  

That is the latest on our beloved little chickadee.  (she has bird legs :-)   )